Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Top 5's

If/when you visit my house, you'll discover some neatly stuck up pieces of A5 paper attached to the sitting room wall, these are our 'Top 5's', one night while bored in front of the TV we decided to do so.

It started with your "Top 5 roast dinners by accompanying condiment", mine reads -
Lamb
Pork
Chicken
Turkey
Beef.


There are other topics: Top 5 roast by meat, Top 5 Veg, Top 5 Fruit, Top 5 smells, Top 5 Famous Men (this isn't who you fancy, it could be but it's more who you admire/like), Top 5 Famous Women (same as the men), Top 5 things to do with your hands, Top 5 crisps. That's about it, we did have a list of about 20 other topics on which we were going to survey but never got round to.

My Top Famous Men reads:
John Cusack - I love him and his voice.
Anthony Hopkins - He's just so cool.
Bill Bailey - He's fucking brilliant, I love him.
Gabriel Byrne - Just look at him and he's Irish.
Frank Sinatra - Well, he just has to have been there, he's amazing, even if he was an alcoholic pill popping wife beater who had no respect for women - Have you seen the original Ocean 11's?!

The one I'd love to do, but it wouldn't be met so well with some of my housemates, as some of them do not appreciate the glory of a good swearing (weirdos!), would be 'Top 5 Swear words'. Amazingly enough, number one would not be Cunt, it would be in there but number one, above all other swearwords has to be Fuck. Was there any doubt? I do hope not, as if so, I must try harder to spread the word - literally!

I think it would read something like this:
Fuck
Cunt
Cockmunch (it's a hybrid but counts)
Shit
Bollocks


The top four are for sure, without doubt but the bottom one will probably change and morph in to other words (bugger, bloody, twat and prick, for example), variety is the spice of life. Thinking about it now, Twat may have to feature as number five, as I love saying it and calling people it and it's never meant as an insult (it's meant as a pregnant fish, lol, sorry a small in joke, in joke of our house, isn't it Miss Hamilton).

So here's to Fuck, I fucking love the word and it causes a glorious, glorious release of annoyance and stress...so when irritated over the next few days, have a swear, you know you want to.

Please feel free to add your Top 5 swear words in the comments.

2 comments:

The Barred said...

Cockmunch? Surely not- not even a proper word pips! Good swearing though. I would probably agree with you on fuck being no.1 - Brillint as it may be, fuck can have it's drawbacks though, see recent poem for an example!

Mr Axl said...

1. Piss
2. Fuck
3. Arse
4. Nutsack
5. Bloomers